The Importance of Teaching Kids to sit Comfortably in Failure is the Key to Success.

Do you remember the first time you failed? Most people probably don’t, because it’s a pretty common experience. For most of us, failure is a part of life. It’s something we have to learn to deal with and accept if we want to be successful. Unfortunately, many teenagers today are never taught how to deal with failure. As a result, they often grow up feeling like failures themselves. In this blog post, we will discuss why it’s so important for teens to learn to love failure. We will also offer some tips on how they can do this!

The teenage years are often a time of great stress and anxiety. Teens are dealing with the stress of school, social pressure, and other things that are new to them. It’s no wonder that so many of them feel like they’re constantly failing. The problem is, when teenagers don’t learn how to deal with failure, it can have a lasting impact on their lives. They may grow up believing that they’re not good enough, or that they can’t do anything right. This can lead to a lifetime of self-doubt and insecurity.

As a teacher, I witness the pressure (and falsity) of a success/failure culture in the British school system. I often started each year telling the students that I want them to fail – I want them sit comfortably with the feeling of failure. That without me witness them failing regularly, they aren’t ever going to succeed. I always needed to explain this: if you try something, before you know it is ‘right’, that it is ‘correct’, that you can do it – you will never grow from where you are now. To only do the things we know we are going to ‘get right’, means we aren’t trying things we don’t know yet. My aim was to move the students in to a mindset where they were ‘giving it a go,’ where the worst that could happen is that it was imperfect or wrong – and then the only way is up.

I believe we need to bring kids up in a culture of happy failure – daily. One of the best things you can do for your teen is to teach them how to deal with failure. Here are some tips:

-Encourage your teen to take risks. This may seem counterintuitive, but it’s actually one of the best things you can do for your teen. Help them to understand that failure is a part of life and that it’s okay to fail. Encourage them to try new things, even if they’re afraid of failing.

-Teach them how to cope with failure. When your teen does fail, be there for them. Help them to understand that it’s not the end of the world and that they can learn from their mistakes. Teach them how to pick themselves up and try again. Ask them what they have learned from it…what they’ll do differently next time.

-Encourage them to celebrate their failures. This may sound strange, but it’s actually a great way to help your teen deal with failure. Help them to see that failure is not a bad thing. It’s a part of life and it’s something that we can learn from. Encourage them to share their failures with you and to celebrate them as a learning experience.

-Model healthy coping mechanisms. As a parent, you are your teen’s biggest role model. Show them how to deal with failure in a healthy way. Let them see you fail and then pick yourself up and try again. Show them that it’s okay to feel disappointed but that it’s important to keep going.

-Give them examples of people who have failed over and over, but are seen as successful. Great examples are….name your choice of entrepreneur! They all failed multiple times – some of them losing millions along the way. Discuss these with your child and remind them the path to long term success will always be the one littered with small (and big) fails along the way.

The really big failure – is to be too scared to try.

Failure is a part of life. It’s something that we all have to deal with. By teaching your teen how to deal with failure, you’re giving them a gift that will last a lifetime.

Have you downloaded my free ebook Conflict to Calm in 4 Easy Steps yet?  Get it for free here.